Biggest reason we don’t go for and do what we gotta do is fear. We all know this.
If we didn’t feel fear… or if it wasn’t so intense, we would act. Action is everything. Fear blocks action and causes inaction, procrastination. Nothing earth shattering yet but stick with me.
If we were more confident, we would take more action because we would feel less fear, or we would at least still attempt it because we have enough confidence and esteem to be able to handle failing.
We would see the fearful things as simply learning experiences. Confidence and self esteem can give you resilience and mental strength.
Here’s where all of this gets very interesting.
Think of the common fears that hold us back.
- Unknown (Ironic part is Nearly Everything that scares you about the unknown IS unknown ie. predicting individual human behavior)
Here’s where I’d like to begin breaking new ground.
I would like to suggest that Most fears… all of them except one, are just surface (fake) fears. In the same way in sales, a certain objection may just be surface. And by calling it out and looking to see if it is the core objection, you find out it is not the real one.
“It costs too much, I can’t afford it” .. If we could get the price down and make a fair deal, you are in? “Ummm, well no, my wife would kill me”.
In the exact same way, you can look at fear of failure, for example, and clearly see it is really boiling down to the fear of rejection… by people.
Embarrassment, disapproval, unknown.
It all boils down to the fear of rejection/death. All the books and people who talk about these fears and how to get over them are doing the equivalent of focusing on the “I can’t afford it” when it is really the approval or rejection from his wife.
Let’s dive into rejection.
Back in the caveman days, and I like to research back to those times because though we have iphones and cities with 10 million people in them, the truth is for a ridiculous number of years, as we evolved, we were typically grouped into 100 to 300 person tribes.
Now.. what happens if you fuck up and are rejected from your tribe 100,000 years ago? Your skull is either crushed with a rock or you are kicked out into the forest to die alone. And as we know, social isolation is the worst punishment for a human, we literally go crazy and die… talk to volleyballs and stuff.
So there are very real biological and genetic reasons we are afraid of rejection. It’s not just in your head.
If you think about the purpose of life Physiologically and biologically.. It is only two things: Survival and replication.
Our personal survival and our species survival.
All of our emotions, drives, and feelings are hardwired into us in order to carry out these two goals. Survive long enough to make another human so the species can evolve and survive.
Stick with me here, this is where it gets good..
To be a leader, to have confidence, and to make something of yourself in the world, you can not be controlled by the fear of rejection. Your level of success is directly related to how much you don’t care what other people think of you (Now doesn’t mean you aren’t sensitive to and aware of how you are making them feel… that’s a different topic).. my point is that their opinion of you is not more important than your opinion of yourself.
Now… The chicken and the egg dilemma comes in because by not needing approval and by not caring if you are rejected by anyone person, it will actually create a vibe and attitude in you that will actually cause less rejection. But like a shark smelling blood, if you are afraid of rejection, you are lunch. Self fulfilling prophecy stuff.
Now that i’m setup, lets smash this this out of the park, come full circle, and show you exactly how to level up in your life with speed like you’ve never seen before.
I always say, if you want to be great at something, always study the very BEST.. Learn from the top down so your foundation and base of knowledge is unshakable.
Well the same here. The standard advice if you want to get rid of fear, get better at sales, selling yourself, products, your business, whatever.. is to LEARN SALES and ADVERTISING WITH WORDS. Progressively desensitize, knock on doors, and kill that fear of rejection.
This is the path usually laid out to you. I’m here to tell you there is a better path, there is one obvious, but hidden under your nose strategy you can use that will take care of your sales fear, or every other fear you have. This one activity that will take care of all the rest. The core of it all…
Here it is…
Since our only two biological goals are to survive and replicate, and replication is species survival, your sole purpose in life (Biologically) is to mate. Therefore anything that could happen to threaten or destroy your chances of mating is going to create massive fear.
Paradoxically, having this fear will actually cause you to not do the things that are logically required for you to desensitize yourself to the fear long enough to not feel the fear and thus not limited by it and allowing you to mate like a champ and reach your dreams.
Read that again.
What I am saying is your biology is holding you back because it thinks you are too weak to handle the possible social pressure like a true alpha male and so it blocks you from acting in ways that make you step up and become that man (or woman). We have to change this.
By realizing that at the core of everything that you are, your fear of rejection from the opposite sex is the core of every fear in your life.
If you can eliminate or reduce to a low hum, the fear of being rejected by beautiful women, then every fear from sales, to embarrassment to everything… will auto-correct and take care of itself.
Approach every person who intimidates you, until you no longer care if you are rejected by them. Until you can do this without fear.
Think about it. You are on stage speaking… you are at a restaurant.. nightclub.. bookstore.. and every woman in the place is staring at you, smiling, winking, flirting, fully accepting you and approving you… but… all the men are talking shit, whispering, laughing a bit… ignoring you..
Would that be a bad situation? It’s not ideal. But on a gut level, you are fine! You feel like a stud. Who cares what these dudes think? You know you are attractive.
But what if it was reversed? What if all the dudes thought you were cool, and giving you attention, smiling, but the women are laughing and pointing at you, some walk up and tell you you are a piece of shit. You get that “look”… that “eww” look.
How would you feel about yourself then?
Ill tell you what though, in the real world, if you have all the women liking you (The way to do that is to simply not care what they think so it frees you up to be real and authentic), they will like you and because of that, the men follow along. It’s real easy to get men on your side. Laughable really.
So anyway. It’s all about social status. Because we are social creatures. You want to sell to men, understand what I just said. Anything that will increase the chances of him being less rejected by women, will make him more money or status symbols… and if you want to kick ass in your own life, realize why you do everything you do on a biological level, don’t ignore it, smash it head on, and of course at the same time, focus on the higher level conscious stuff that are what make us these unique creatures and evolve on a higher level than our base reptilian desires.
By overcoming your fear of rejection with women, you realize it was simply self rejection all along.